Family support
As part of our #MagicOfChildminding campaign, we’re celebrating childminders across England and Wales by showcasing the incredible difference they make to children, families, and local communities every day. Here, childminder Terri in Wales shares her story and reflects on the special ways she provides support to children and their families.
How long have you been working as a childminder and what inspired you to start?
I have been working as a childminder since April 2021, coming up to 5 years. It was a combination of things that brought me to childminding. I had spent 10 years at a charity for children with additional needs, and crucially, their families. Places that welcomed the entire family were few and far between and we were a close and supportive community. I ran the playroom alongside an amazing team of therapists and then later, short breaks holiday schemes. I learned so much from so many people, professionals, families and children in my time there and it started to shape my ethos and how I thought about Early Years. I did not take a traditional route into childcare, it was definitely more of a zigzag, and I have been lucky to be able to cherry pick from so many ideas and approaches over the years from play work to Forest School to techniques I have learned from watching different therapists, speech and language therapists (SLTs), occupational therapists (OTs), music therapists, holistic therapists, specialist teachers the list goes on and on. These influences at the start of my career mean that the autonomy and flexibility of childminding suits me wonderfully. It is almost a creative outlet for everything I’ve learned. I get to pass on everything I’m passionate about whilst always tweaking, adjusting, refining and learning. I can be as flexible as I need to be to support every child that walks through my door. Being able to really see a child and think ‘ah yes, I think I know what you need’ is a brilliant feeling.
What makes childminders special in the support you offer to children and families and the relationships you build?
Last year, one of the children in my care lost their Mamgu (Grandmother) quite suddenly to a short illness, a wonderful woman who I’d had the pleasure of getting to know during pick ups and drop offs. What mattered most in those first months was doing whatever was within my power to help get them through it. I couldn’t make it better, I couldn’t take the pain away, but I could make damn sure the little boy had a steady, predictable, place to be while his family dealt with the turmoil. To begin with I was able to offer flexibility in the evenings so they didn’t have to worry about hospital appointments. If I had ad hoc spaces when the other children were ill or on holiday he would come on those days. I am in constant conversation with my families and having those pictures and videos and updates of what we were getting up to, knowing with certainty that the child is safe, loved and cared for, meant one less thing to have to think about. Having to work out the logistics of childcare whilst navigating grief doesn’t bear thinking about so when the time came I did what I could, speaking to other parents to see if we could move days and create wiggle room, talking it over and helping to think through options with mum until eventually we had a plan and childcare at least, was taken care of.
"Because we are small settings the care we give is tailored and personal and we come very quickly to know the intricacies and details of our families lives. We get to know not just the child but their entire family unit because they are extensions of the child’s world. Very sadly, sometimes there is great loss and when that happens I believe any childminder who has built those strong bonds and relationships would move heaven and earth to help."
Terri
How do you build a sense of community, inclusivity and togetherness for children and their families?
I think in the modern world the ‘proverbial village’ – once made up of nearby family members, close-knit communities where children moved freely between homes, and friendships where childcare was reciprocated – is much harder to come by. Many families are now living further away from their support networks due to work or more affordable housing. Grandparents are working longer, and for many households, dual incomes are no longer a choice but a necessity. Then there was Covid-19 and we are still seeing the impact of that period of isolation unfold. I have always felt strongly about the importance of community and have intentionally sought out a ‘tribe’ wherever I have been, and have found a wonderful support network in the childminding community. We thrive on strong connections, something anyone working in early years knows about our little ones.
The pressures of modern parenting are intense, I have felt it myself as I made the choice to raise my girls while my husband worked. I am thankful that childminding suited my skills and was a natural choice for me because becoming a childminder meant I didn’t have to choose between being present for my children in their formative years, and work, much of which would have gone towards childcare anyway because I do not have access to a childcare ‘village’.
"It is hard being a parent, it is hard feeling societal judgments about our choice to work or not, it is hard trying to navigate an era where there is an inescapably VAST amount of information and opinion on how to raise your children to wade through. What I am trying to create as a childminder is a non judgemental village where we can vent, share experiences, stories, information, give a hand hold, celebrate, and support each other and do it all together."
Terri
On a practical level I create WhatsApp groups for families whose children attend on the same days, giving parents the opportunity to connect. There is a lot of humour and joy in those groups. We also have a whole-setting group, helping to build a wider sense of belonging. I always try to make time at the end of the day when possible, and some of my fondest moments have been spent sitting out on my front lawn with my families in the lighter months, while the children play and we sit and talk.
How else do you provide holistic family support that goes “beyond” childcare provision?
A really good example of this over the last few months is what Mum and I are calling “our Poo journey”. We are currently navigating our way through a phase of poo holding and anxiety bought on by an unfortunate, painful poo experience when the child was potty training. It’s undoubtedly been stressful for the child and therefore, of course, for the family. We have worked, and continue to work as a team with humour, love, ‘emotional support giraffes’ and diagrams of mummy and daddy having a poo (because if it helps it helps).
Through constipation, doctors visits, laxatives and discomfort our channels of communication have remained absolutely wide open with phone calls, blow by blow accounts, voice notes (at one point the entire office was treated to my overjoyed account of a happy, non stressful poo) and of course many many poo updates. I have supported by writing emails and signposting to Eric (advice for children with constipation) and of course by providing emotional support and reassurance to the child. He is very happy and settled in my setting and we have a strong attachment which is crucial when navigating anxiety and discomfort.
Talking about it earlier Mum said, after Dad, she always messages me first about anything poo-related because she knows I am utterly invested. I am well aware of how stressful it has been for everyone but I am glad we’ve been able to approach it as a team and with honesty, trust and a little bit of humour.
"Knowing you’ve been a part of multiple family’s stories. That feels magical to me. If you are choosing a childminder you are choosing skilled professionals who are constantly improving and learning. This year alone I have had AT LEAST one session of professional development per week whether that was a training session, a forum or a conference adding up to hours and hours of learning and I know I am not alone in this. We are not paid for this time, we do it during our evenings and weekends, which I think shows our commitment to our families and how much we are willing to give to make sure children have the best in their formative years."
Terri
See more case studies for the Magic of Childminding campaign on our campaign webpage. You can read from childminders reflecting on the magic of caring for babies, wraparound care, SEND/ALN support and more in their settings.
